I feel like I know Lea Renber. In a way, it feels as though I've always known her." "About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits." "Saying the clouds danced like sleeping rabbits is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant." - Hit the Spoof "I could do better."
Lea Renber had always hated sunny Cardiff with its fantastic, lafording fields. It was a place where she felt worried.
She was a violent, spiteful, cocoa drinker with fragile lips and ginger eyes. Her friends saw her as a loopy, little lover. Once, she had even helped a fair blind person cross the road. That's the sort of woman she was.
Lea walked over to the window and reflected on her deprived surroundings. The clouds danced like sleeping rabbits.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Sonya Thomas. Sonya was a brave Writer with short lips and small eyes.
Lea gulped. She was not prepared for Sonya.
As Lea stepped outside and Sonya came closer, she could see the sturdy smile on her face.
Sonya gazed with the affection of 1964 Smart damp dogs. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want only you."
Lea looked back, even more shocked and still fingering the weathered book. "Sonya, stop annoying me," she replied.
They looked at each other with lonely feelings, like two kindly, knowing birds chatting at a very sad funeral, which had piano music playing in the background and two rude uncles crying to the beatLea Renber had always hated sunny Cardiff with its fantastic, faffdorking fields. It was a place where she felt worried.
She was a violent, spiteful, cocoa drinker with fragile lips and ginger eyes. Her friends saw her as a loopy, little lover. Once, she had even helped a fair blind person cross the road. That's the sort of woman he was.
Lea walked over to the window and reflected on her deprived surroundings. The clouds danced like sleeping rabbits.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Sonya Thomas. Sonya was a brave Writer with short lips and skinny eyes.
Lea gulped. She was not prepared for Sonya.
As Lea stepped outside and Sonya came closer, she could see the sturdy smile on her face.
Sonya gazed with the affection of 1964 Smart damp dogs. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want peace."
Lea looked back, even more shocked and still fingering the weathered book. "Sonya, stop annoying me," she replied.
They looked at each other with lonely feelings, like two kindly, knowing kittens chatting at a very selfish funeral, which had indie music playing in the background and two uncles crying.
Lea studied Sonya's life. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Lea in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Sonya."
Sonya looked shocked, her emotions raw.
Lea could actually hear Sonya's emotions shatter into 5320 pieces. Then the brave Writer hurried away into the distance.
Not even a mug of cocoa would calm Lea's nerves tonigh...
Lea studied Sonya's short lips and skinny eyes. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Lea in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Sonya."
Sonya looked shocked, her emotions raw like a tough, tiny Teapot.
Lea could actually hear Sonya's emotions shatter into 5320 pieces. Then the brave Writer hurried away into the distance.
Not even a mug of cocoa would calm Lea's nerves tonight.